Slovakia 0-0 England – As It Happened (Euro 16 Diaries, Vol. 9)

  • England dominant but cannot score
  • Russia 0-3 Wales – Ramsey opens scoring for Wales, Neil Taylor gets a second, Bale pokes home number 3, to send Wales through
  • Group B:
  • 1. Wales
  • 2. England
  • 3. Slovakia
  • 4. Russia


21.53 – England deeply frustrated by an organised Slovakian defence, but whilst everyone will be very irritated, I’m optimistic. A good performance again means we have dominated every game so far, and although we haven’t been that great in goalscoring terms, we certainly have the players to get some goals. The next game shouldn’t be too hard and from what we have seen from the last three games, we definitely have the potential to go far. No team in the competition has been ‘incredible’ so far, they have all lacked something at times, and on group performance, England are up there with the elite. The next month could well be an exciting, successful one for all us England fans… Goodnight!

Full Time: 0-0

90 + 5′ Nathaniel Clyne’s cross is easily collected, and England have one last attack? No.

Wales have beaten Russia 3-0 and gone through to the Round of 16.

90 + 3′ England constantly being blocked, charged down or forced wide. Dele Alli fires too high, and Slovakia will take their time with this goal kick.

90 + 3′ No.

90 + 1′ 5 minutes additional time. In the 92nd minute, Sturridge scored against Wales. Can we score in it again?

90′ Martin Skrtel looks in pain, as he clears a ball on the stretch. The clock is ticking away…

88′ Another big moment! Henderson yet again surges forward and pings in a delicious ball for Kane, who can only nod it wide. If it stays like this, England will play whoever comes second in Group F – any one of Portugal, Iceland, Austria or Hungary.

86′ How many corners have England have? A nice run from Henderson gives Rooney another opportunity to cross, but it is wasted again. A Ryan Bertrand diagonal ball is just not friendly enough to control for Harry Kane. England running out of time…

85′ Robert Mak, of Slovakia, looks as if he has pulled his hamstring, and the England fans are frustrated as the physios take their time…

83′ The ball is permanently in the Slovakia half. Rooney scuffs a shot wide. If we don’t win this then I will be soooooo annoyed…

82′ England queue up to hit shots at the Slovakia goal, the final one is blocked and it goes out for a corner which is again wasted. Talk about parking the bus, Slovakia are parking the cruise ship…

80′ 19 attempts, 56% possession, four strikers, no goals.

79′ England win yet another corner, which I can confirm Harry Kane will not be taking. Again Skrtel is there, and again it comes to nothing. You get the feeling this may well be another game that has a late goal, like lots of others this tourney. Can England finally get a goal? 10 minutes to go…

76′ Again it is aimed at Gary Cahill, but he hasn’t made decent contact all game and this time it is easy for the Slovakia keeper. England fall into a diamond formation, Rooney in behind Vardy and Kane, which didn’t work against Portugal in a friendly but has to work now…


75′ Sturridge, Vardy and Rooney combine! The latter’s shot is blocked and it;s out for a corner, which Skrtel can only head out for a corner. Here comes Harry Kane for the tiring Daniel Sturridge. England corner.

74′ Dier produces a terrific pass to set through Sturridge, and any contact would’ve put England ahead, but he kicks the air and it somehow remains 0-0.

73′ It can’t be coincidental that England always seem to dominate but never score! Could it be time to change manager?

72′ Harry Kane is getting ready…

70′ England keep applying pressure, but can’t find a goal. They promise much, show all the signs of a dominant, tournament-winning team, but can’t score a goal!!! Marcus Washford time?

69′ Gareth Bale pokes home to make it 3-0 to Wales. They have won, so England really need a win to finish above their neighbours. Bale is top scorer so far, with one in each group game…


68′ Anyone fancy an Eric Dier free-kick?

67′ Slovakia substitution – one unknown player on for another. How aren’t England beating this lot?!

65′ I just worry that without Lallana there is less width, and Dele Alli, Wayne Rooney and Jamie Vardy all seem to be drifting infield too much – gone are the threatening forward runs down the flanks…

63′ Joey has some interesting things to say;

“This match sums up England completely – we can’t finish! We should be 2-0 or 3-0 up by now, and if we draw it will only make the competition harder.”

61′ What an impact! A super pass from Sturridge sets away Henderson who clips it back and Alli is only denied by a heroic goal-line clearance from Martin Skrtel! He was nearly the instant hero…

60′ We’ve got Alli, Dele Alli, I just don’t think you understand. Interesting sub, as Alli comes on for the excellent Lallana. Half an hour remains, and it’s still 0-0.

55′ End to end stuff as Slovakia break again, but the shot is low, soft and straight at Joe Hart. On comes Wayne Rooney for England, in place of Jack Wilshire. Can he make the difference? He has been very impressive in his new creative role so far this tournament… And now a defensive change maybe for Slovakia, with a striker coming off for a left-back?!

54′ A beautiful ball from Daniel Sturridge sets Clyne free and in on goal, but is shot is tipped over the bar. Big chance! and from the resulting corner Gary Cahill can’t get proper contact on the header. Somehow still 0-0!!!


53′ A cross is flighted into the empty England box, and Chris Smalling tries to chest it down to Hart, but Robert Mak is there and only just misses the ball. A lucky escape…

52′ Ryan Bertrand gives away a silly free-kick in a good position, and Martin Skrtel looks imposing… but Hart is there and plans it away.

50′ It looks like Slovakia will go through as one of the top third placed teams if this game remains a draw, as four points should be enough. England won’t want to settle for second though…

48′ Joshua, like all of us, thinks we’ve been great so far but has no idea how it is not at least 1-0 England… England start in the same vein as before, testing the opposition.

46′ And so the second half begins to a rapturous rendition of the national anthem… again!


He’s having a party…

21.01 – And here come the England players… Come on lads!!!

20.59 – Freddie is very upset that England still haven’t scored – he even put in a crying emoji in his comment!!!!!

20.56 – The verdict from a super goalscorer… Alan Shearer says England have played well, but lack the quality final ball and need to finish off their opportunities…

20.54 – A great match overview from Max:

“A good game so far! England have played well and have dominated possession!”

No goals though…

20.52 – Rio Ferdinand, and surely most other people, think it’s only a matter of time until England do get a goal. Certainly there is another entertaining half to come and hopefully some goals!

20.48 – Jeddy:

“It’s been a good game so far, Slovakia getting a bit better but England have had some real chances. It’s quite an open game, either team could score. It’s my bedtime now, but Louis will keep you updated with all the big moments. Goodnight!”

Half Time

45 + 1′ One added minute, and Slovakia will be delighted that they have made it through the first 45 minutes relatively unscathed… England totally dominant but again no goals to show for it…

44′ Again another crisp strike, this time from Jordan Henderson, and this time it is blocked by a defender…

42′ Jamie Vardy is threatening the Slovakia defence and is hauled, rugby-style, to the ground for a free-kick in a good position… but again Henderson’s set-piece can’t find a red shirt. England have had 66% possession so far, and all the shots this game has offered…

40′ For the first time this game, Slovakia try to force the issue, prompting and probing, but they can’t penetrate the tightly packed England penalty area. Roy’s boys have set up very well but will be disappointed to go in at the break at 0-0, unless they can get a goal…

39′ Sturridge smartly takes down an Eric Dier pass, but some good recovering from the Slovakian defence means it is only a corner – which is wasted again.

33′ Clyne with a lovely run again, and rolls it back to Lallana, who’s fierce shot is pushed away from the goal. Then England win a corner. The Three Lions look very dangerous, but that corner was overhit and will not pose any threat to Slovakia’s backline.

29′ Henderson sets Clyne off again, who hooks back a cross and Wilshire can’t quite make it. And then again, they combine and Clyne’s second cross is tipped away from the Slovakia goalie… Clyne has been fantastic so far, as good as Kyle Walker has been in the last two games.


28′ The corner is easily cleared.

28′ Liverpool duo Henderson and Clyne combine to win a corner. The news from the Wales game is a clear incentive for England to win – come on boys, we gotta beat Wales!

24′ Gary Cahill gets a foot on a low cross ahead of the lurking Hamsik, and on the counter Vardy is hacked down for a yellow card. Free kick – but the cross is too big and is collected easily by the Slovakia keeper.

23′ “Kuronicus III” claims Slovakia need to try and control more possession, but in response, England aren’t threatening too much in possession so Slovakia will be perfectly happy.

21′ Wales get a second goal! 2-0 to them! Neil Taylor gets through on goal, and gets a second bite at the cherry and smashes the ball into a gaping goal after his first shot is palmed away by Akinfeev. Wales solidify their position on top of Group B!


20′ A worrying sign for England, who only have three out-and-out centre backs in France, as Cahill goes off with a knock – he should be OK to carry on, though.

17′ Classic Jamie Vardy move, Henderson hits a long ball over the top of the stumbling Martin Skrtel for Vardy, who’s shot is smartly stopped by the Slovakia ‘keeper. First big chance.

16′ Lallana makes a great run and sits it up to Henderson, who turns and shoots and wins a corner after the block. It is a loopy ball in from Bertrand that comes to nothing.

13′ Great passing and movement from England results in a snapshot from Adam Lallana that dribbles wide of the Slovakian goal. England playing some good stuff…

12′ Goal for Wales! Aaron Ramsey links it over Akinfeev in the Russia goal, and as it stands Wales are going through on top of Group B.


10′ Jeddy’s thoughts so far:

“England have started very brightly. Slovakia will have to try and get some more chances away or they’ll never score.”

8′ Henderson’s deflected cross bounces off the heads of Lallana and Vardy, and Daniel Sturridge can’t quite reach it to force it forward. England have had the better start.

7′ Slovakia’s number 22, don’t know his name, smashes a wayward shot over Joe Hart’s goal, to the disappointment of his fellow countrymen. The England contingent in the stands erupt into another chorus of God Save The Queen.

5′ Superb run by Clyne, gets the better of his man and whips in a pacy ball, which ricochets of Jamie Vardy’s knee and bounces over. England’s, and Vardy’s, first sight of goal so far.

Come on England!!!

3′ A settled start from England, in the red strip, going from right to left. Still no clear-cut chances, though.


19.57 – A hearty rendition of God save the Queen! Let’s listen to the Slovakian anthem… Oooh, I like, it has a sense of Harry Potter magic in it… and some Hunger Games tension. And there is big Skrtel, the scariest guy in footy, singing his heart out! What a sight!

19.55 – The players are out of the tunnel, Jamie Vardy looking very pumped up ahead of the big game. His selection is popular, with Max saying;

“Finally! Vardy is starting! Good move!”

19.48 – Remember,  Slovakia will qualify with a win, and will finish second with a draw if Russia beat Wales.

However, Slovakia would definitely be eliminated in fourth place if they lose and Russia win.

19.42 – Tonight’s live blog has been met with some interesting reactions! Adam says;

“Very excited for this blog, relying on it for updates.”

And Joey says;

“Looking forward to what genius/rubbish Louis comes up with tonight.” 

Oi! Kurun observes;

“Should be an interesting match.”

What an expert…

19.33 – Roy seems to disagree with Jeddy, and he thinks that the starting team is not a gamble. He talks of the experience of the likes of Henderson and Wilshire and that he believes fully in the team chosen.


I’m not going to cover the Wales game, as I can’t really be bothered and also it will be too hard (!!) but I will let you know when any goals go in.

19.30 – Jeddy has more to say;

“Rooney has been playing well recently but I did think the England team could do with a change, to freshen things up. However, I’m not sure this team is the best possible England team and perhaps Slovakia could silence the England fans tonight.”

19.26 – So, we’re all settled and my friends are pretending that they are looking at my blog to try and get me to shut up. So, below is a vote on what you think the score will be…

19.20 – Big news: Crouchy is in the ITV studio!!!!!


19.10 – So what will happen after this game? If England win then they will certainly top the group, and then they will play a third-placed team from either Group A, C or D – Albania, then maybe Northern Ireland, or Turkey, or Czech Republic. If they draw, then Wales have to win to come top. if they don’t win, then England still come top. If England come second, they will play second place in group F. If England lose, and Wales win, then England may drop to third. Then, if they do come in the top 4 third-placed teams, they will play Germany or Spain most probably.

The most important thing is that if England get a point, they will get into the next round.

19.06 – Martin Skrtel and Marek Hamsik are the two biggest names on the Slovakia team sheet, and the two biggest threats potentially, but remember Slovakia showed fantastic team spirit and fight against Russia and are not to be underestimated. my prediction? 2-0 England. Sturridge goal, and late joe Hart bicycle kick.

19.03 – This tournament has been the competition of late goals – 13 after the 87th minute! Will there be any more drama tonight?


18.57 – The England team is in! Hart, Clyne, Cahill, Smalling, Bertrand, Wilshire, Dier, Henderson, Lallana, Sturridge, Vardy

So, as expected, the super subs Sturridge and Vardy start and will try and nail down a place if England get through. 6 changes, including Rooney on the bench, mean it is a new look team from the one that beat Wales.


18.25 – As always, my expert analyser, my little brother Jeddy, is on hand during the big match build-up, and here are his words of wisdom ahead of tonight’s match:

“Slovakia are a good team, always up for the game. They’ll probably challenge England tonight, however, an in-form England side is very hard to beat and if England can do what they did against Wales, they’ll probably be too much for Slovakia. I think the score will be 3-1 England.”

Woy’s Wigowous Twaining in Fwance

17.18 – Hello, and welcome to live coverage from my sofa in London. I will be reporting, analysing (and watching) England as they face off with Slovakia in the Stade Geoffroy-Guichard (best Euro stadium name 2016). At the same time, Gareth Wales and some Russian hooligans will also do battle, with every team still in with a chance of making it through Group B and into the next round. I will be here every so often to give you some clever facts or dumb puns up until the 8 o’clock kick-off when I will be settling down with a bar of chocolate, my laptop, and ‘Will Grigg’s On Fire’ blaring out of the speakers as Clive Tyldesley will guide me through all the finer details, and I will be relaying the general picture of the match to all my trusty followers on here.


28 thoughts on “Slovakia 0-0 England – As It Happened (Euro 16 Diaries, Vol. 9)

  1. This match sums up England completely: We can’t bloody finish. We should be completely punishing Slovakia. Should be at least 2-0 or 3-0. If we draw it’s just going to make the competition harder.


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